I’m supposed to be writing to you from Corfu today, somewhere on a crystal water beach, sun kissed and salt stained, squinting at the screen through my brand new sunglasses.
Instead, I’m writing to you from my desk at home, in London, because not everything is supposed to go to plan. Your plan.
I was so looking forward to this trip. Both Elliot and I really needed a mini holiday in the sun and the timing seemed perfect as my co-founders of Tanya’s just finished their incredible three year eco-centre and rejuvenation project, which we were eager to see for ourselves.
On Thursday (the day before flight) I got a strange feeling about it and waved it off. Then I felt physical cramps and knowing that body pains are linked to emotions and often premonitions, I started listing out possible reasons. When I got to ‘don’t go to Greece’, the pain went away. How weird, I thought, I have already had to miss out on Greece once before when my passport with a new visa was meant to arrive in three months but didn’t for the longest eight months of my life, over which time the boat trip around the Greek islands that I paid for in full has been and gone.
This can’t be happening again, not to me.
On Friday I went on to pack my bags, ran a few final errands, set up an auto responder for my inbox, ordered a taxi to the train station and went to grab my passport. And then went to another potential place it could be. And then another. Another. Soon I was out of rooms, bags and shelves to look.
Something didn’t seem right.
Over all the years I’ve been traveling, I have never even misplaced my passport, let alone felt clueless as to where it could be. There were still a few hours till the plane, so I didn’t panic and took the opportunity to clean good before going on a holiday. So I looked and moved stuff and cleaned stuff and folded and filed and de-cluttered and nothing.
I meditated. Nothing.
Texted everyone who’s been over recently. Nothing.
Re-traced my entire journey with passport in hand after last trip overseas. Nothing.
Then, OMG, I have a dousing rod that can answer any question in the world!
I asked it the usual questions first to just make sure everything was working well energetically:
‘can I ask questions about my passport?’,
‘is my name Tanya?’,
‘is my name Mary?’ (just to make sure not all answers point to yes by default),
‘is the passport in the lounge?’
‘is the passport in the lounge?’
Strange, because the rod didn’t move to either a yes or a no. I then walked through every room and asked if the passport was there, still no movement. I asked other unrelated question and got perfect cooperation, just not when it came to something I was now obviously being protected from.
I called my mum in Ecuador to check with her dousing rod, and it immediately said we are not supposed to go anywhere.
Clearly upset by this time, but not willing to give up, mainly for Elliot, who I know needed this trip even more than me, I continued to look together with him when he ran through the door to pick up our bags.
It wasn’t until we were completely and utterly exhausted and missed the only two flights that would get us into Corfu in time for our friends’ project launch and after we cancelled our return flights, that the dousing rod started ‘working’ again and told me the passport was in the kitchen. Without even trying to think where exactly, I immediately walked towards the cupboard that I somehow suddenly knew it’d be in.
Gutted we weren’t in Corfu, obviously. But I didn’t feel like it was the end of the world and everything was going against me.
Instead I felt quite the opposite.
I’d always known that I’m being protected and I’d always trusted that the universe has my back. That doesn’t mean that I’ll give up on something just because my intuition is in a chatty mood, but in this case I know I’ve tried every avenue and I have to believe that my guardian angels are by my side. I also know that I don’t need to know or wonder now about what could’ve happened if I went anyway. I may never find out the reason.
I just need to trust.
And I do.
I’m so grateful that a protection this strong and powerful is out there. So grateful that it’s looking after me, Elliot and anyone who’s willing to trust it too.
Hope your Wednesday is the best Wednesday ever!
With love and trust,